dreams

they are a funny thing, you know?

its been awhile since i've experienced lucid dreams, but as of the last couple weeks I have been flooded with them. most time i have to "yell" at myself to wake up, or keep "telling" myself, "its only a dream" at the times where the yelling doesn't truly wake me. the dreams aren't frightening, but they are unfair. unfair? yes. unfair for the fact that though things that are happening in the dream are positive but unrealistic. they feel so real, that i don't want to wake from it b/c that person will be gone again. just to hear his voice again, or get a hug, just to have him alive again. my mother says its because he's trying to tell me something; i had similar dreams when my father passed away & after i wished them away i didn't get them again - until now, though the main character has changed. more than not, i wake up crying in disbelief that what i was dreaming was not really true.

sigh... we'll see what happens tonight...

daily motions

everyday i start the day the same way: wake up, lie in bed for another 20 minutes, get ready, deal with LIE traffic, get my special K w/ strawberries, and settle into my desk to plug away. before the official start of my work process, i read a couple blogs to get me going on my way, one of which is whattheduck.net.

as of recently i have added the blog "forpaul.wordpress.com" to my morning ritual. this blog is dedicated to the progress of one of my past Hallmark instructor's recovery and recuperation after an accident last week. everyday when i read the updates, supportive comments, or memories; i say a little prayer for paul and his wife Kat, as well as all those who are supporting him. this blog also gives me the strength to get through my own day, with all that is going on in my day to day life - there is someone out there struggling just to continue with it. it makes me overwhelmed with joy to see the outpouring love and support one person can have aruond them. it is the little acts of kindness such as this that help me know there are greater things in life than the petty everyday motions and bring a much needed smile to my face, sigh of relief, or cry to release the emotions.

paul, my heartfelt prayers are with you everyday hoping for a full recovery!