it's a start...

For the first time in 7 years, I am not numb in the month of February. I am light hearted and have a feeling this month will bring new beginnings and keep me on the right track.

This past year has been very trying emotionally and mentally... not that the past 7 years has been a breeze, but I believe that this year was the first I faced life again with open eyes and heart. I took huge chances, and prevailed through them all.

I am definitely at a crossroads, and as I get glimpses of what is to come, my heart is at ease.

The 27th will be 4 years since my father passed - the hurt and the sorrow are still there. I still have my days, and will always have them. When he first passed, I realized, all those people that say it will get better with time are wrong. Rose Fitgerald Kennedy got it right when she said "It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, (protecting its sanity), covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But, it is never gone."

With all the loss and suffering that has occured in my life these past seven years, it's a wonder how I kept my sanity... then again, that may be up to debate ... but for the first time, in a long time, I feel alive and am "back to myself."

Letting go is so refreshing.