How quickly...

life passes in this world.

As the days go by, I've been fighting an inner battle with trying to comprehend loss, death and why it affects the people that it does. For myself, it is sad, but for as long as I can remember not a year in my life has passed where I haven't been to at least one funeral a year and as the years go on that number only increases. It makes me wonder if it is something to do with the number of people that are in my life, their backgrounds, or simply the luck (or bad luck) of the draw.

When people tell me they have never been to a funeral, or never had a death of a loved one, I am unsure of how to react. Are they lucky to have never known the pain of loss, or are they unfortunate?

I understand first hand the loss of a parent, but the loss of your own child I cannot even begin to fathom. I do not wish either on anyone.

It is a "process" that I will have to deal with for the rest of my life. But the uncertainty, the wondering, and the dreaming of what would have been will plague me for years to come. The things, people and places, yet to be visited, met or done will never be accomplished on this realm.

February has always brought this cycle forth into my life... how fitting that I find out on Ash Wed., and the eve of Chinese New Year.

My thoughts, prayers and love go out to your family, Vytai. Have a shot or two w/ my dad up there.